Prussia X Reader - Under the Surface ch. 5

Bully! Prussia x Bullied! Abused! Anorexic! Reader ch. 5


"Ve~ Ludwig! Where were you! You disappeared and I was afraid you'd left me! Ve~" the voice of the bubbly italian in the junior year suddenly cut through your thoughts as that very italian ran towards your desk, flailing his arms around. "Ve~?" he stared at you for a few seconds as Ludwig was rubbing his temples, you fidgeting under his gaze.

Suddenly his expression changed from curiosity into a wide smile. "Hey Ludwig, who's this pretty ragazza?"

You blushed hard at the words, looking down and wondering vaguely if it was really you he was talking about. You hardly if ever got compliments anymore.

Next to you, you could hear Ludwig sighing. "Feliciano, meet (y/n). (y/n), this is my friend Feliciano." he seemed reluctant as he did the presentations, to which you frowned slightly. Did he not want his friends to meet you? Heh, he was probably ashamed. It's not like you were very surprised, but still, the guy had acted as if he had wanted to be friends with you, so you couldn't help the however small pang of pain at the treatment.

“It’s nice to meet you, ragazza!” the italian turned to you cheerily. Were his eyes always closed like that?!

You were wondering what to answer him, not the best at talking to people as can be concluded, and just as you were opening your mouth to stutter something out, the bell rang once again.

“Oh no! I have to go! Ciao, Luddy! Ciao ragazza!” he yelled as he ran away from your class, waving.

And once again before you could say anything, you were interrupted by the teacher walking in.

“Settle down, class!” the stern woman yelled, the class instantly going silent as everyone made their way to their own seats.

As for you, you just sighed silently as you started scribbling down your notes.

‘I’m sorry about Feliciano. I don’t even understand him sometimes...’

You frowned down at the note suddenly passed to you, confused. So… that was what it had been about? It wasn’t you who was the problem. Somehow, the thought managed to bring the smallest smile to your face.

‘It’s ok. He seems nice.’  you answered him before returning your attention to the teacher, as the german did, too. For the rest of class, you managed to drown out other thoughts by concentrating on the lesson at hand,

The class had gone on smoothly. Thankfully that particular teacher was really strict and old-fashioned, so nobody dared to talk in her class. Which was a good thing. You had gotten some time to think, at least. Not that it helped. You weren’t good when it came to people, so trying to understand behaviours you haven’t encountered before was like trying to understand advanced astrophysics. It just lead to a dead end.

You knew that you had to stop thinking. Do something to calm down your mind and stop yourself from going into a nervous breakdown, because it was a well-known habit of yours to overthink things to that point, and you couldn’t let that happen in school, less you give people even more reasons to avoid and/or bully you, and really you had enough of that already, and it was just getting harder and harder to live with that and you couldn’t let yourself-

“(Y/n)? Are you ok?” the thick german accent broke through your thoughts, and you found yourself staring up into frowning blue eyes, concern obvious in them. And with a start, you realised that you managed to get on the brink of it once again, cursing yourself for being so emotionally unstable. You were the one who kept people away after all weren’t you? It wasn’t anyone else’s fault, only yours, of course that so many people couldn’t be wrong. They weren’t. You were in the wrong. Otherwise at least someone, at least one person would have seen something else. But nobody did, because it was your fault-

“(Y/n)!”

Ludwig was getting concerned. Conflicted emotions swarmed around in your eyes, and you had started to hyperventilate. Twice. Perhaps Feliciano had rubbed off on him, but the german was decided to get closer to you. “You didn’t answer my question. Are you ok?”

Of course he knew you weren’t. Not with the way you were standing there, looking stupid and lost and acting like a panicked idiot, and you knew that. He was just asking out of pity. Wasn’t he?

“West? What are you doing?”